Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
