found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
