I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Randomize