Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nicole vs. Life
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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