I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
