dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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