Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Someone came in the potted fern
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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