You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize