I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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