Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
