he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
