About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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