The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
