first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize