If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
