You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
