Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
