I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
