Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
That's when you crack a 10am beer
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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