I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
