I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
