Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
