We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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