it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
why do cheetos always look like penises
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I am one with the molecules
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
