How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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