p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize