This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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