I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
