Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
