just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
