i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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