I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i came on her dog
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize