would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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