Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
