He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
