I skipped work to stalk him.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
