i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
