Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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