Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
