I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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