There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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