Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
