Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Success! We fucked roommates!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
