she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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