your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just saw a hot homeless man
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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