do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
