So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
