Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
