then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
how drunk are you?
Several
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
