Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize