At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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