I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
