It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
These tits shall not be calmed
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
