Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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