dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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