you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize