I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
