your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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