the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize